Sheep not Goats

Fellow Believers, In light of the Syrian Refugees how do you think we should interpret what the bible is telling us to do for them in these verses? Matt. 5: 42 Give to the one who asks you, and DO NOT TURN AWAY from the one who wants to borrow from you. Ephesians 5:1-2 Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Matthew 25:41-46 “Then He will say to those on His left, ‘Leave Me, you cursed ones, into the eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angels; for I was hungry, and you gave Me nothing to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me nothing to drink; I WAS A STRANGER AND YOU DID NOT INVITE ME IN; naked, and you did not clothe Me; sick, and in prison, and you did not visit Me .’ Then they also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, or thirsty, or as a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister to You?’ Then He will reply to them, ‘I assure you and most solemnly say to you, to the extent that you did not do it for one of the least of these , you did not do it for Me.’ Then these will go away into eternal punishment, but those who are righteous and in right standing with God [will go, by His remarkable grace] into eternal (unending) life.”

I do not pretend to understand the economical ramification of allowing any influx of any large group of immigrants, all I know is that God has called us to unselfishly seek the best for others. If you would do it for your fellow American you should do it for every other human being on earth. The love we are called to does not see race, gender, nationality or creed. As Christians we are called to be citizens of a higher kingdom. Jesus does not give us exceptions on loving others because they are from a different country or they might be terrorists. When Jesus was teaching, Rome had long since invaded their country. The Romans were the Terrorists of the day. Yet Jesus told them to to do more than just love and pray for them at a distance. We are called to sacrifice in love as Jesus did regardless of the cost to us. If God has called us to do this do we not believe he is in control of the situation when we actually do it. Brothers and Sisters in Christ, If you still don't think we should welcome the refugees in I ask please take another look at Matthew 5:38-48 and 25:31-46. Open your heart to let God speak his truth into it. Don’t be made prejudice by fear. Don’t be poisoned by hatred. Our God is bigger than the pain any terrorist creates. Our only response should be love. Has our response to the Syrian refugees glorified God, have we shown the world God's love in what we have done? Can we love them as God loves them? ‪#‎RefugeesWelcome‬ 

The Strangeness of Grief

This was meant to be posted the day of Ryan's Funeral but I couldn't bear to do it then, so I just left it sitting as a draft, but now months later, time always has a way bringing acceptance and easing the ache.  I was thinking of him today and wanted to share this.

JULY 2014

There is a Funeral I am supposed to be at today.  Time, distance, and obligations have made it impossible to be there with the whole country between us.  Instead I am at work and having to talk and instruct more people then I care to count all while trying not to cry.  It's hard today, not to be judgemental of people who are freaking out over their tiny problem that actually have very easy solutions.  Grief is not so easy.

Grief in death is a strange thing.  I think most times we treat it like a problem to be solved.  We want to slap some band-aid over it, and pretend that it can be fixed. I don't think you can actually fix grief, you just live through it. Even when there is hope and peace, I feel with death there is always some part of grief that remains.  And it's like everyone knows that it takes time to heal from the death of a loved one but we all still rush to tell some one, "God will bring you peace, God will heal your heart."  And while this is true over time God can mend the brokeness if you let him, it doesn't actually  help anyone to say this.  For awhile, in the beginning the pain is just untouchable, and there is nothing you can do with it and there's no timeline for how long it might last.  It can even come and go in waves with good days and bad.  Special days and events can split the wound wide open again.

And with grief you should never try to bear it all on your own, but even with the support of friends and family in some part you do face it alone.  The beauty of love is that with each person you care for it is unique, but it also makes grief itself unique.  Pain can be shared but it can only go as far as what can typically be shared in your similar experiences.  What made them yours, made you care, made them different, and all the reasons you love them are yours alone to feel and yours alone to grieve. Its part of the burden that comes with the beauty of love.  It does not in anyway make love less worth it, in fact it's what makes love real.  That love can feel like a knife shoved in your heart or a bomb exploding inside of your chest in the first moments of grief,  but then maybe a day will come along when the memories aren't so painful you can once again feel the same beauty and peace that it brought. One day those memories might  make you smile with delight and joy, instead aching and in tears.  We can only hope that even if now we feel so low and weak one day we might realize loving them made us stronger made us better.

I've been praying so hard for his family, I can't imagine having to bear going through my son's funeral.

Ryan, Brother of My Heart

This is what flows, flows from my soul, write it all out and let it all go.

If I could just find a peaceful place,

where the wind blows gently across my face

with open hands and open eyes

raised high up to the skies

breath it in then let go

accept the truth of what I know

just let the whole world fall away

The news that my childhood friend, Ryan Van Thournout, has passed away does not seem real.  I feel this stuttering in my heart, like it’s trying to stop and reboot to fix the damage.  This message is an error, it's not real, it’s not true.

We all have people we like, people we only tolerate, and people we just want to avoid. Then we have people that can only be explained as ours. Those who were given to us and those whom we chose. They are all those who matter to us, even if we might not matter to them.  We claim them, we’d do anything for them. We may never say it to them out loud but in our heads, our hearts, and our souls, we’ve shouted, “They Are Mine.” And Ryan was one of mine.

Ryan was the first friend I made in Reception (aka Kindergarten) at Feltwell Primary School (aka Elementary School), in Feltwell Village, Norfolk, England. Both of our dads were US Airforce and as best I can remember we were friends between three and four years before his family was re-stationed in Utah. Sadly some of the details are getting hazy as I realize those days were close to twenty years ago. There is no one quite like the first friend you ever make, no matter the length of time you were both together, be it months or years, they are forever etched into your soul. It was the first person to give you value outside of family.  The first person to like you, to want to be with you,  to pick you just for being you.  They shape you, they change you.  We had the whole world open to us, everyday was an adventure, we could be who ever we wanted to be.   My little girl heart was broken when he moved away, but I never once imagined how much worse it would be this day.

“You meet people who forget you.  You forget people you meet.  But sometimes you meet those people you can’t forget. Those are your friends.”  MLK

Ryan it’s been years since we’ve seen each other but “for a long time we grew side by side; our roots will always be tangled. And I’m glad for that.” I think of you often and you have never been forgotten.  You were my first and dearest friend. Birthdays together, super secret agent spies, super secret hideouts, bikes upside down, pirates and partners in crime.  I got in trouble for you at school and helped you learn to draw squares. Forever being teased about being married for all the time we spent together. So many childhood memories filled with you and these words will never be enough to explain how broken I feel at your death. You were always the brother of my heart and I love you.

stuttering heart

stuttering heart

trying desperately

to restart

truth be gone

can’t bare it now

rewind rewind

someway somehow

closing closing

eyes so tight

just pretend

its all alright

your hand in mine

one last time

places to see

mountains to climb

don’t let go

I’m holding on

I’m not ready

you can’t be gone

Ryan Van Thournout, son to Betty and Kevin, brother to Kirsten. The father of two boys I had never had the pleasure of meeting. I held my son tight today as I can't even fathom the depths of their loss. My heart cries and grieves with them and they have our love and prayers.